Were I play Catch up... Hello 2012

Sheesh, I know I suck at blogging and even more so now. Funny thing is, is I say I'm so busy and this weekend I thought to myself... How am I busy? What am I doing that makes me so busy? I really couldn't list anything of importance besides life.  So I stopped for a minute to look around and figure it all out. In that moment I realized I'm just going, I go and go and go.. I'm done "just going", I probably make no sense but I've been coming to some realizations lately. About A LOT of things. 2012 is a year of changes. For me personally, for my family, for my health and my kids.  I've decided I'm no longer just going to go, I need life to slow down some for the sake of my sanity and for me to watch my kids grow. I'm okay with being that busy Mom, with Birthday parties and baby showers and etc to go to, but when it starts to consume you in which case it has, I myself need to stop it.  I'm tired, I'm running on empty and honestly feeling slightly back to where I was over 4 years ago. "Depressed" is really not a useful word to use in this case. I know what the feeling of depression is, I was there. I'm not there now and I refuse to let myself get there. I just have the sluggish, bleh feeling.  I just need to realize life is so much better when you can slow down and breath. This is where New Year's Resolutions come in.
** I think my realizations have been played out significantly over the past week, due to losing a friend from a freak accident 2 days before Christmas, it hit me extremely hard because not even 3 hours before that happened we were talking at my work, we talked about Christmas and how excited he was, he couldnt wait to be with his kids, cook and eat.and then I got a phone call from my BIL that night and my heart sank.  Saturaday the 31st they layed him to rest and that day is also my Dad's Birthday. My heart goes out to his family and his 4 little ones. Life was hard losing my Dad at 21, I can't imagine so at 8 and younger. =( 

I love to hate New Years Resolutions, I have many, some probably unrealistic like winning the lottery =), some I question like  "pshhh Yea how am I going to accomplish that", and some that I know I can accomplish and plan to.  Here we go:

1. Continue Paying off/down debt: This is ongoing and I'm almost there. I can not wait to be debt free. Zero Credit cards to plague me. A Lesson learned, Yes. but never again!! 

2. Organize all my pictures within my computer into files and then back them up:  I was on top of this up until about 10 months ago. I always backed up my pics onto a hard drive just in case my POS laptop ever took a shit again. I have so many pictures on my comp that are irreplaceable and memories that I can not lose. So this is a must!!

3. Those Digital Pictures; Print and hang:  I'm so horribly bad about this. I have tons of pics but nothing printed and nothing hanging. Not since T turned 2 anyway. =( and I have Zero up since M was born. Horrible!

4. Declutter/Reorganize:  I'm an organizational freak and I'm a clutter free person, as of late though you wouldn't be able to tell and to some people that's ok, to me its not. I hate clutter, I hate crap all over. I like Clean!  I've definitely been less clean (to an extent)and that's ok I have 2 kids, its exhausting running around picking up after them. As far as clutter though, we have boxes everywhere- under beds, in closets, etc. That's what I'm talking about. Most if not all of that stuff can go up in the attic. I don't want to get rid of it, those are memories in those boxes!  Just simply de clutter and pack away.

5. School:  I have one last class to finish before I'm able to get on the Nursing Wait list. Its a Chemistry class, and I tried doing it at 7 months prego but Chemistry stresses me out and apparently Baby M didn't like it to much either so he sent me into Pre term labor. There went that class. My goal is to finish that, take my HESI A2 test and get my CPR cert. and then I can turn my Application in.  I have until June 2012

6. Getting back on track:   Meaning eating better all around, cutting out the soda that I have been drowning in. Its bad-  I used to drink maybe a soda a week, that was like my treat. As of late, its everyday and Ive even caught myself having two!!!  SOOOO not good.  Eating better. I haven't been cooking like I used to and I know its because of the adjustment from one kid to two, working and doing the daily grind. Still not an excuse!!  Our routine is so effed up that I just gave up on cooking. I admit the last 4 months or so have been horrible with eating and drinking and so on. I gave up on exercise around January of 2011, and I would love love to get back at it. I miss the Gym, I really do!! It was my sanity saver, it was my place I could beat myself up and like it!!  I plan to get back there. Come hell or high water I will get back there.

7. Stop making family problems that are unsolvable get the best of me:  I have a pretty big family I cam from a family of four. 2 brothers and 1 sister, then myself.  As I was growing up my parents did a good job at keeping the family close knit and together. Then my Dad passed away and that tightness I thought we once had, slowly and steadily went out the window. The happy family bubble I once lived in popped and ever since then it has emotionally drained me.  I hate that I can't stand my brothers. I work with one of them and I hate it!! I hate that I'm unable to see my 3 nephews because of my SIL including my brother (supposedly we "the family" is diseased) Yea that's an entirely long drawn out post and honestly I cant even begin to write a novel like that!  So lets just say its bad, I hate her and honestly I hate him for not allowing us to see my nephews.   So I've promised myself that beginning this year I can no longer let there hatred get the best of me. I miss my Nephews like crazy!! I hope that one day they will realize that it was not us that didn't want to see them, that it was there own mother and father who didn't want them to see us!! Until then, there is nothing I can do about it and I have to stop letting it eat at me.  

I have so many other resolutions in mind, but for now I would like to accomplish whats listed. 

Me - A to Z

I got this from a Fellow Blogger, I figured since my blogging had been sparse, I would give it a whirl.

A. Age: 28

B. Bed size: King and that's not big enough.

C. Chore you dislike: Laundry, particularly the folding part
D. Dogs: Yes 3 and I sometimes, I can't wait for them to go. I know that mean, but they are a pain in my ASS

E. Essential start to your day: A shower, some people can go days with out washing the hair, I can not, not sure why. and brushing my teeth.  Eww thats a first!!
F. Favorite color: Pink of course.

G. Gold or silver: I'm silver, preferably white gold.
H. Height: 5'3. I'm a kind of a shorty. I wish I was like 5'5 ,5'6

I. Instruments you play(ed): The flute, and I sucked
J. Job title: Bookkeeper, HR, Domestic Goddess, Wife, and my best title ever: Mommy!

K. Kids: 1 Boy and 1 on the way.
L. Live: a House by a park
M. Mom’s name: Sandra

N. Nicknames: Jen, babe, Mom, mommy, salsa biatch(friend inside joke)
O. Overnight hospital stays: Only when I had T
P. Pet peeves: Couples who sit on the same side at a restaurant when your in a booth that clearly irritates me. I like to face the person I'm with especially when its just us two. I also hate Blutooth pieces and the people that answer without saying excuse me,  while your having a conversation, thinking they are talking to you, but then you realize they are on the phone! Ugh!!
Q. Quote from a movie:  I'll be back..

R. Righty or lefty: Righty

S. Siblings:  2 Older bothers, and 1 older Sister, I'm the baby.
T. Time you wake up: Depending on the days right now. anywhere from 5:15am to 6:30 am. Depends on if I have school.

U. Underwear: My fav are from  VS, they are the hip hugger lace.. LOVE THEM!! Fit my ass and I'm in love.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Carrots, HATE Carrots!!
W.What makes you run late: sleeping in, when I know I should be up and already done.  T on some mornings, when he decided to unload a poo before walking out the door.. Oiiii

X. X-rays you’ve had: Teeth, and my shoulder

Y. Yummy food you make:  I make some pretty good food! I have to be in the mood though. Usually if I'm up to It I try to liven things up and change things from our normal food. New recipes etc.

Z. Zoo Animal: HIPPO!!!!   Love me some hippo's!  I know so gross and weird. but I love there ears, and there eyes. something about them gets me every time. Haha

How do you suppose I get back into blogging?

Because, honestly I'm really not sure.. I'm not sure if I have just lost interest in it or just don't allow myself time to update.. I'm really not sure. I feel like when I get home my focus needs to be on my kiddo, and then once kiddo goes down its qaulity time with the hubs, which usually is either sitting on the couch watchin hhmm  nothin and then me getting up and going to bed because to be pretty real, I'm TIRED!! 
I feel burnt out.. I would love a new blog design? but I don't want a premade one, I want a cute one like the ones I see when I go blog reading.. "I want that", kinda like what Tristan says to me!  Does anyone know where I need to start to get that done? Maybe a makeover will help inspire me to get back into it, I did want to change over to wordpress but REALLY?  ugh  I barely have to time to blog (when did everyting in my life become so time consuming WTF) let alone the countless hours it would take to switch over.  This sucks BALLS!!  Yes I said Balls, Hairy ones if it makes you happy!!
So if you or anyone you know - knows where I should go or knows a blog designer,queen of makeovers, please point them in my direction.  Thanks.
No Really I want you to do this,, =)
I do have a few updates, I can blog about. but after that- its a shot in the dark for me. Maybe I should go steal a few blog ideas from others.. 

Beee right back....................  

I still know my password..

YAY!!!!  

Ok, so I have definitely been on a haitus,, Yep.. Sorry.. but school, life, a almost 2 year old happen to be kicking my Ass.. Literally!!
BUT  I am almost done!! I am at the homestretch people., shoot not for school or anything but for this god awful math class.. this is my last week.. you have no idea how accomplished I feel with out even having passed it yet.. haha.   We have 2 more tests to take and my last day is on Thursday.. This class has definitely been grueling, its been stressful.. you wanna know how stressful- it sent me to the Dr's for what i thought(felt) was a heart attack or something.. Seriously.. I thought it was just panic attacks, but I have had plenty of those and this was just not normal. I have also had heart burn.. obviously (being prego and all), but this feeling was knew, and extremely uncomfortable.. So finally I had, had enough last week and called the Dr's - she diagonsed me with indegestion.. HA!!  gave me some meds and said if it comes back, gets worse etc to come back.. Meds seem to be workin!!  Thank goodness!! 

On the homefront- things are good, T is getting HUGE, huge in understatement.. here you make that call

See I told you!  He is getting so big, so smart, sooo talking... sooo turning TWO on July 9th..

One week he says 2 or 3 word sentences to full blown 5-6 word sentences the next week. Every time he spits one out, I have to just stare at him like really??!!  Do you ever have flashbacks when you stare at your son or daughter and an image of when they were itty bitty flashes before you?    YA me to!!

I am by far the happiest person on the planet to have been blessed with my son. He definitely knows how to test my patience, but that look- ya that one in that picture, melts my heart! He knows it... GAWD  I'm screwed!!

Other than that, we have been doing some house work and trying to revamp this hole, I call my casa. We should hopefully have some front yard landscaping in another month or so..I'm not quite sure why we always choose to remodel, redo things right smack in the middle of summer!  Summer in Arizona, is like hell on earth!  REALLY!!

Anyway- we also have decided that we are going to change up T's room. Means more painting, and murals and ugh.. why do I get ideas.. Ideas kill me!!

Give ya a hint, since he's in love with trucks, motorcycles and anything that goes vroom wroom..

(I'm nuts I know)

So thats about it for me, at least until Thursday. I don't start school again until August, so that should hopefully open up some time to take care of blogging.. =)

I leave you with a few more pics..

Well Hello little blog...

HI!!!!!!!

Wow I have been super absent.. I apoligize, to anyone who really reads this thing.. HA.. :0)
Lets just start off with- it has been EFFING RIDICULOUS AROUND THESE parts lately. NO TIME, NONE!!!!   and I want a 2nd kid HA  thats funny!!!! 
 Really though- its been pretty crazy..   We have picked WAY up at work, which is awsome and its not going to let up anytime soon!!   Last weekend was John and I's 1 Year Anniversary!! March 21st. Marke our 1 Year- it went by so fast.. We went to the dunes to celebrate and we had a blast. John broke the Rhino but whatever we still had fun!! Now that T is bigger and can really enjoy it, I love going..   This past week and a half basically we have  been gearing up for this overload of work that is about to hit us face first and I'm walking into something I have never done, in all my years working here, its been pretty simple, I've taken on more and more as far as the human resources go, taxes, payroll, payroll taxes and the list gets longer. So when I returned on Monday I was pretty much slapped with a WHOLE SHITLOAD of more stuff piled onto my plate. I'm not gonna lie- I'm nervous-  I am supposed to be going back to school in June -We leave for our cruise May 1st and umm yea I do everything at work... So after discussing this with my brother's we decided it was time to get some help!!  YAYA!!!!!! 
I interviewed a girl yesterday for the position, and to be really honest.. I really like her. I'm not one to like other girls especially when its moving in on my terriotory- but I think this girl- is going to save my sanity!!!  No joke!! 
I think of all the relief she will create for me and I can't wait to find out if she accepts our offer.. :/ 

On our home front - we have some changes taking place as well. I'm excited but also nervous about this to.. John's cousin is going to move in with us for about 6 months until he gets on his feet again. He will be working for our company - We told him that he has 6 months to save money, get his head on straight and get his own apartment/house at that time. He has 2 kids that live in Yuma with his ex, and they are having issues. So to help him out, John and I offered to help.. I enjoy M  (I wont use his name) - He's fun, and he loves T so we have a free babysitter for the next 6 months wooohooo.. this of course is in place of paying us rent.. hahaha :0) 
So this weekend, we have to clean out the office, and get things moved around, cleaned and ready to go because he moves in this weekend!!  WHOA!!!   Lots going on..

So as you can see- this is why I have been absent- I wish I could write more, I enjoy it- its my release even if all I do is talk about T... like I said its MY release..
Just an FYI I'm down 8lbs. I gained about 3lbs last week grrrr. I hate this weight thing.. It always kicks my ass.. but I'm still truckin.. My Goal is to be down in total 15 by May 1 - thats when we leave for our cruise.. :0) 

OH and I BROKE MY EFFING CAMERA.. :(   I dont know what to do when we go on our cruise, John does NOT want me to buy a new one, because he knows I will go and get that Nikon.. and thats a pretty penny, something he doesnt want to spend right now, and really we shouldn't (I shouldn't)  but Man, I love that camera... :)   So I'm hoping maybe Canon can get it repaired in time, but I highly doubt it.. :/

So those are the updates around my world.. I wish I could write more, but by the time I get home I'm exhausted.  I got to bed when T goes to bed  8Pm.. is bedtime.. Pathetic I KNOW!!! 

Some Friday Funny's..  :0)   

*Seriously if it's not ONE thing its ANOTHER

My camera could possibly be broken.. My good camera the one I had bought for John but pretty much took claim to it after T was born. Yea that one.. It was working fine and I took the funniest sillyest picture of T for yesterday's Wordless Wedensday post.. I went to take another picture and it made some obnoxious sound, like it rolled over and died or somthing. So I shut it down really quick, and now I can't get the fecker to turn back on. I'm seriously hoping when I get home today and turn it on it will magically start up and be fine.. Please pray. I really don't want to buy another camera and I really don't want to add to the ever ending list of new things we want/ need..  Its growing by the day it seems.. Ugh... Not to mention our big screen T.V. I think that thing is about to take a crap ola.. Its like if one thing goes electronically  they ALL go.. 
Lets see here,,  Starting with my laptop charger, the lap top itself is running like crap, then our T.V. - then John's really expensive computer the other night, now the camera.  WTF is going on!!!
I realize we want/need these items, like another T.V.,Our TV is getting pretty old like 12 yrs and up, a new cool upgraded laptop for me and a cool new camera (Nikon) to be exact, but all of these "things" are not on the we have to have them right now list!!  This sucks BALLS!!! 

I'm alive? Really

Yea so I'm here but uhhh my laptop charger cord took a crap or atleast I think that's it. Let's hope so. So because of that I have been unable to blog, FB, dl my pics and play with editing. So my weekend consisted of scrapbooking and of course the weekend chores - I'm blogging from my phone and I don't recommend it. Anyway I will get caught back up as soon as I get the new charger for my laptop which should be like Tues. Yikes! Not only that, blogger is pissing me off so I might be switching to Wordpress. I already have an acct but thought blogger was easier to use at the time but now I'm learning the ropes and I almost feel like wordpress is a bit more organized. Who knows I need to play around with it and I will go from there. Welp its late and I need sleep I start training with a personal trainer on Tues. I'm excited but nervous he's gonna kick my ass. Oh well I need it!

*welp* I'm alive, but barely...

I'm so exhausted, I'm tired, I can't sleep- I'm stressed out, I'm just a tad overwhelmed and I freakin hate that feeling.  So much to do in so little time, and I know I NEED TO SLOW DOWN!! Tends to get the better of me though and I lose!!  Somedays I wish I could be a SAHM, others not really - I love my T more than words can even describe, but being away at work makes me miss him even more and really enjoy the time I do get to spend with him, but it sucks because the time I do get to spend with him, is the time where i need to clean, do laundry, clean, do more laundry and the never ending to do list.. It just sucks!! Its like a lose - lose situation.. :(  I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like with a 2nd kid - just as much stuff to get done, and that much more time needed of me.   So anyway - not really where I was trying to go with this post- I have a few things I need to catch up on. For one: my Goals, 2: The picture challenge (which I decided to do just a weekly collage thing), 3: I made a decsion on my diaper bag and I'm going with the touring edition,   4: My weight loss is going "okay"  I have lost 5lbs which in my book is kinda not okay.. My goal was to have lost 15lbs in total by Feb 20th.. I still have 3 weeks - so we will see. I haven't been to the gym and I need to get back, my eating hasn't been horrible, and my soda intake has gone WAY down, like maybe 1 or 2 soda's in a week, which is AWESOME!! I'm almost there. 5: I'm going to do a seperate post for all of these, and I saw the 5QF post and I will do that one, it looked fun with some fun questions. :0)
So here we go with posting away!!!  At work...  oops..  The picture challenge will have to wait until tonight when I get home..

Is it Friday Yet??

Seriously- My Mind has been lost, gone, no where to be seen.. Since Monday, I have been in a haze of some sort- I keep getting my days mixed up, like Tues, I called one of customers to get Payment and there job wasn't to go til Wens.. HELLO Jenni!! Wake the eff up... Then that same night one of my friends who just found out she was prego was to have her first appt. on WENS!! And what.do.ya.know I text her Tues night and say hey haven't heard from you, how did your appt go?? Uhh HELLO Jenni..  Then Today.. I tell my husband, "babe don't forget to put out the trash", he looked at me like WHAT?? I got mad and said Hello its Friday and the trash people come today!! He shook his head and once he did that my mind finally clicked and I think he saw the light bulb go off, because their were no words.. :/ ::sigh::

Where is my Mind?? I really need to find it.. I have been super tired this week, our bed sucks royal balls!! We need a new one so bad, but there's a lot of things we need.. :well want: at least I have a bed, so I should just shut up and think about the kids and families in Haiti who have nothing.. :(

Work, sucks, Yep at least I have one, but it sucks, Working with Family sucks.. I can't wait to graduate from school and start nursing - ugh.. If only it were that easy- I have to get into school first and then precede to pass all classes and wait on the ever ending waiting list for the nursing program.. Such a crock..
Speaking of school, I know it was in blue on my 101 list, and I will keep it as is- but the plan was to be in school now.. But when I jumped the gun and planned our awesome Cruise.. I didn't realize that finals would be right when we would be returning.. I have done that mess of cramming and I'm just not a crammer so there is no way I would risk failing..
SO the new plan is,, this next semester- summer session.. I will be taking classes.. I have to take 4 more classes in order to take an entrance exam and be put on the waiting list that at this point is 18 months!! UGH!! BUT during that time I will be able to finish up the rest of the classes needed to start the Nursing Program. It’s definitely going to be a long road ahead, since I can't go full time. Not to mention the two classes I need to take to take the entrance exam are Math and Chemistry, if you know me in RL, then you know that I despise Math, I am dumb, retarded and every word you can possibly think of when it comes to that class, Chemistry is the same, it may not be all numbers but anything that deals with equations etc, I'm FECKED!!!

With that said, here is my plan written out; summer session I am taking Dreadful Math and my Anatomy/ Physiology Class
Fall Session: Will be Chemistry and my Bio class.
With those 4 done- HOPEFULLY I pass them.. :: Please Pray:: Start now.. hahah. I can take the entrance exam. That will also put me at the end of the year in which, we will be trying for another kiddo and hopefully looking for a new home.
I'm really not going to look much further than that, only because I need to get past these 4 classes.. two which I'm really worried about.. We will see what happens.. Good thing I still have my college math book and all my notes from previous classes I have taken (ya did you catch that- classes). I can start getting prepared for he**.

Okay so I Lied---

I have some time - So as I was following up on every one's blogs I found this on her blog- which is super cute and she has a son that is one month younger than T so its fun to see what they are both up to.  I really shouldn't be doing this- I'm at work and need, must be getting things done. I need a break tho!!  :0) 

A - Age: 27

B - Bed size: King
C - Chore you hate: Cleaning, Cleaning and Cleaning - Laundry too
D - Dog's name: 3 dogs  Indy, Kane and Sox
E - Essential start your day item: A Shower!  is that an Item?? Oh well its a must for me to be able to wake up!
F - Favorite color: PINK,  some greens
G - Gold or Silver: Silver (or white gold)
H - Height: 5'2
I - Instrument you play: Nada
J - Job title: 1st one is Mommy (The best job title ever!)and 2nd: Office Manager its not as fun
K - Kid(s): 1  Tristan
L - Living arrangements: I live with my hubby, 3 dogs and 1 kiddo in our home
M - Mom's name:  Sandra
N - Nicknames: Mama, mom, mommy, honey, babe, sweetie, negative nancy(that one is used when I'm meanor being negative)
O - Overnight hospital: Just when I had T- turned into like a vacation

P - Pet peeve(s): Lieing!!  HUGE HUGE HUGE No no with me.. I'm not a forgiver of liars!! 
Q - Quote from a movie: Yea right, I can;t even remember what I did 5 min ago let alone remember a qoute from a movie
R - Right or left handed: Right
S - Siblings:  2 bros, 1 sis  all older  I'm the baby  :0)
T - Time you wake: 630am 
U - Underwear: Yes please
V - Vegetable you dislike: tomatoes
W - Workout style: Ummm, chasing after my kid.  3 days a week with cardio and then 2 days strength training. 
X - X-rays you've had: 1 or 2 I think- 
Y - Yesterday's best moments: taking a 4 hour nap all by myself in my bed, no crying, no barking no nothing just me - sudafed and darkness!!  (all because I'm sick) Bleh
Z- Zoo favorite: OMGosh.. I love HIPPOS!!   Love Em.. Everyone makes fun. but seriously love HIPPOS!!   So cute.. 

How Boring!!!

I have become.. so sorry I think life has gotten in the way-- eeeeek..

I have been pretty busy.. by the time I get home, get T fed, Us fed, T bathed and ready for bed, I'm exhausted. Pretty much I go to bed right after that - or since this past Sat. John and I have become extremely addicted to our Wii.. its pretty ridiculous, but OH so fun!!
Anyway - No excuses.. So I will be blogging some more..
I have T's 14 month update.
I have to update some of my goals and of course blog about them.
and a few other things.
I'm still trying to decide what T should be for Halloween.. I know I had the Three up there. but Umm its sept 9 and uh yea its still 103 degrees.. So all of those outfits are going to be ridiculously HOT!! Maybe.. We will see.

Anyway - that's kinda my update, where the hell have you been, Post.. :0)

My Heart

I'm bored so I got this from a fellow blogger..

My Heart: Here is what you need to do:

The rules: "With as much creativity as you can muster, show your heart in: a picture, a poem, a song (or piece of music), a phrase (or quote), an item of clothing, a place, and (just for fun) a Disney princess. If you want to join in, tag six more blogs!

A picture:
This little guy- has my entire heart- Yes my husband has my heart as well but, I'm sorry my son is my EVERYTHING. He grew in my belly for 9 months and he turns to me when he is upset or doesn't feel good and I love that. I love being a Mom to him.


A poem:

Miss Me, But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the road,

And the sun is set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom filled room,

Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not too long,

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love that once we shared,

Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must make,

And each must do it alone,

It's all a part of the Master's plan,

A step on the road to home.
So when you are lonely and sad at heart,

Go to the friends we know,

Bury your sorrows in doing your deeds,

Miss me, but let me go

This poem - I read at my Dad's Funeral, I miss him more than ever and more and more and more as the years pass on. I know I had to let him go and one day I will be with him. I know he is watching from above and I know he is cheering me on and he can see his little grandson. This poem gets me through when I think about him.


A song:
I could not ask for more by: Edwin McCain Go here to listen . http://www.imeem.com/people/hdWjMn/music/0M01Pca2/edwin-mccain-i-could-not-ask-for-more/


I love this Song- its the truth.. I really could not ask for more than what I already have. I have a very blessed life. Some days I think I don't but for some reason when I hear or listen to this song it brings me back to the fact that I truly do have a blessed and rich life. (not rich as in money rich) I mean its a fulfilling life. I have my Husband, my son and my family that stands behind me and supports me. "I could not ask for more"


One piece of Clothing: My Flip Flops!!!

I love my flip flops they are an everyday part of my life. I live in the hottest place ever so these are essential!! And well they go with just about everything!! :0)

A Place: I'm going to have to pick San Diego

How could I not - I Love it there. Its beautiful, it has the beach, Sea World, The Zoo and so many other neat and wonderful things to go and visit. The drive there is just as beautiful and I love when you finally get beyond the mountains and feel that Ocean air and breeze.. ahhhhh.. I just love it..

A Disney Princess:
I'm going to say Ariel from The Little Mermaid
I used to watch this movie over and over and over again, I knew the words to the entire movie and my Mom and friends would get mad at me because I would say the words as the cartoons would say them.. HA.. She was like the all time princess, Oh to be in love.. and I loved the music they would sing too.. :0)

Now Go tag 6 other bloggers and see what they have to say.. :0) Have fun..

Okay - I apologize - I didn't realize I needed to refer back to were I got this post. So I will do so.

Fellow blogger: http://saysomethingstacey.wordpress.com/

*Did you see*

I added to my Goals finally-
It was pretty hard coming up with 101 goals.. but I have come up with 74 minus one since 69 - was "come up with 32 more goals" hahah ..
Anyway - so I added- go see.. :0)

*I'm so Excited*

One of my Best girlfriends just got engaged today- Tara and I have been friends since middle school.. Man if I could find a pic of us back then I will have to find the closest scanner and upload that sucker.. Such fun times we used to have back then and even now. This is a "more" recent picture of us. I love this girl

As we got older though - I'm sad to say -we have sorda grown apart - more or less because She was a very independent person - was going to school and well I was with John - and well then we had a baby and then finally got married.. So Tara and I kinda grew apart in that sense- which sucks - I love Tara- always there and always someone you can count on.
but aside from all of that - I'm soooo happy for her.. She is finally with the most perfect guy for her - its like a match made in heaven and it took her a few spills and heartbreaks to get there but she has found him and he is definitly a keeper!!

Congrats to my Tara and R.T. - I can't wait to help with the wedding and all the planning that goes into it!!

Baby Fever

My BIL's Brother's Wife is Pregnant!! This is soooo exciting and I'm so happy for them.. They have a little girl Madison who will be 2 on July 2nd..

Everyone I know around me is pregnant or just had a baby!! So many babies and I'm starting to get the chills, fatigue, and hot sweats.. I might be getting a case of "Baby Fever!!!"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Congrats to all you ladies around me with little bumps growin and little bundles who just arrived.. (hopefully we can work on more of the girls being born) I don't want to limit Tristan's findings... heehee.. :0) When he's 25 of course.. until then he's my baby boy.. LOL..

*My Butt Procedure*

Yes I call it that..
Anyhow - it went well.. minus the fact that I had to fast for 24+ hours and drink this nasty most horrific tasting solution to make me go to the bathroom to clean my bowels out!! that was NO fun!! Ugh..
I'm not sure how people fast for more than 24+ hours they are CRAZY!! Every where I looked and every where I turned their was food staring me in the face and EVERY thing looked a million times better than it would if I wasn't having to fast. bananas and strawberries, turkey meat Oh my lord - at times I wanted to just sneak in a few bites here and there but new I couldn't so I carried on with my nasty liquid of a drink.. Going to the bathroom wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and it didn't bother my stomach or make me cramp horribly like the side effects had said would happen, so that was good. I did get a massive headache and that was obviously from not being able to eat. Went away as soon as I was able to eat!!
I definitely feel bloated and swollen, so much for thinkin I would lose weight!!
When I went in for my procedure - the nurse was getting me prepped and I had to leave a pee sample - she scared the living crap out of me because she did a prego test and pulled i and was like umm when did you have you last period - I told her and she was like.. mmmm (my heart stopped) I was like NO WAY!!! and she was like oh No no, your not pregnant.. Ugh my heart started beating again.. LADY I just had a kid 11 months ago I don't need another one right now.. mmm kay... Holy cow not cool.. then she tried to get me set up for an IV and couldn't find my veins ( I have pretty bad veins- just not visible) Well Duh I'm dehydrated so its going to be a little harder - well she blew one of my veins I wanted to strangle her.. then she went to the top of my hand couldn't find anything - finally I was like why don't you just put it in the upper part of my arm where you normally would go.. she did and Guess what found my Vein!!! YAY!!
they got me prepped and I laid there for about 15 minutes waiting the anthestesiologist . He came in and went over stuff and then knocked my ass out - I remember nothing after that..
I woke up to John - talking to me and the nurse saying my name.. Of course I started crying as I always do when I come out of sedation.(big baby) Oh well.. I was there for about 30 min and got on my feet (a little woozy)- got dressed talked to the Dr and on our way we went.. I told John I wanted a big fat juicy cheeseburger so he stopped at chilis on our way home and got me just that.. YUM! We went home- ate and watched a movie and then he went and got T from daycare and I feel great- besides gas and bloating from the air being pushed into my colon.. Nothing like expelling air.. LOL!!!
Anyway - all is well - but I have to go see a rectal surgeon for my wonderful hemorrhoids- since I'm sick of just putting creams, ointments etc. on them and it not helping - I want them removed.. So I go in Thursday for another Dr. to look at my bum!! Geez!!
that was my wonderful day - luckily I wont have to go back to get one of those done again until I'm like 60!! Thank God - because drinking the solution they give you to clean you out is just out of this world DISGUSTING!!! Bleh..

~Whoever invented...

Peanut butter M&M's needs to be shot!!

Seriously I love these things and have been craving, no scratch that. I have been feening for them for the past week.. UGH!! I'm messing up what form of some diet I was maintaining here.. oh and Dr. Pepper.. What in the heck is going on!! Its like I'm a kid in a candy store I just can't get enough- of Peanut butter M&M's & Dr. Pepper..

Not even remotely cool because I know exactly where its all going, directly to my hips and thighs.. YAY for me!!

This is not what I'm going for PEOPLE

Yea.. that's kinda disturbing.. but maybe this will be the reminder of why I need to stop this craziness with Peanut butter M&M's and Dr. Pepper..

That's ALL!!

~Sick~ Sick~ and more Sick

UGH!! Being Sick sucks -
It started with my Brother in law - then went to Tristan and now has been passed on to me..
I hate taking medicine, but I broke down last night and took sudafed - I just couldn't take it anymore. My throat hurts, my chest is on fire from congestion (it feels like a just got done hiking or something), I'm hot , then cold and then hot and sweaty and then cold.. This is a viscous cycle!! I'm OVER IT!!
I took T to the Dr's last week to get a check up because he has been acting off and was grabbing at his ears (yes again) UGH.. So I took him in and she said I don't see anything, He looks really healthy, his ears are clear and tubes are still in there and then it dawned on me that my BIL went in and they tested him for strep and it came back positive so I told her and she did a culture on T and it came back positive!! Wonderful.. So He's been on meds to clear that up and luckily we caught it early - but he continues to grab at his ears, and rub them with annoyance. So I don't know whats going on there..
I hope we start making a come back soon. Like today would be great.. Being sick just puts me in a Shit mood, I have no energy, I'm tired and really don't want to be bothered. John really isn't the most sympathetic person when I'm sick so he irritates me.

On another note - I have to go get a Colonoscopy - WHY??
Oh well, because it stems back from highschool basically - I really have never had normal bowel movements and usually can only go every 3-4 days- I thought this was normal until I realized that it is NOT - and when I do go its hard to go and I really never feel relieved.
Well lets bring us up to now and the same problem just worse. About 3 weeks ago I was going and it really hurt, it felt like I had ripped and then the bleeding began.. I was like holy cow.. So me being me and so NOT wanting to go to the doctor about it I went to my trusted friend "Dr. google" and found that it could be fissures, or a hemorrhoid.. Okay well now I have answers - so I chalked it up to that.. Started eating more fiber rich foods and drinking more liquids. Should work?? Not so fast...
Well than 2 weeks ago I went to the bathroom and afterwards my bum just felt weird and itchy.. (hahah sorry TMI) so I sat back down to wipe and felt a bulge - My face probably turned 10 shades of white (if that's possible) and I got really scared.
I went on to my trusty Dr. google and looked it up and I had a Hemorrhoid!! WONDERFUL!!
I'm 26 years old and I'm rockin a hemorrhiod Not even cool..and I know they say after you have a baby you typically get them, Yes true but I didn't have a normal vaginal delivery I had a C-section and did no pushing or straining - So WTF.. why me?? So at this point I'm so sick of my body especially my bottom half.. So I sucked up my pride and made an appt with the "butt Doctor" as I call them. My Appt was yesterday - and she has scheduled me for a colonoscopy after my butt was violated ;( and yet it will be violated again on the 23rd..
I was really shocked that she wanted a colonoscopy. I figured she would give me some medicine etc.. to help.. When she said colonscopy I was like Waaaahat.. . she explained that she would like to find out not only why I'm getting a hemorrhoid (obviously from straining because I don't go regularly) but she is concerned that I might have blockage, polyps or internal hemorrhoids!! Well isn't that dandy.. So she said we will clean you out and get you regular - I was like cool - your gonna clean me out during the procedure, (high hopes there) and she brought them down with "Nope, I'm going to give you a solution you need to drink the day before and the day of your procedure and you will flush your self out".. WONDERFUL!! Makes me want to jump right in to this procedure.. :(
Oh well - I guess I'm better safe than sorry - or so I'm told!

Great Week eh??

Today is my Birthday!!

Holy cow I'm 26 years old today.. Just blows my mind how fast time goes by.. I totally remember being like 10 and saying to my Mom I can't wait until I'm 18 cause then I can do whatever I want, and then I was 18!! WHOA and then I was 21 and was out partying, drinking, having the time of my life. Now I'm 26 - getting married in March and we were alittle ahead of the game and I have a baby boy that I couldn't see my life with out!! Before I know it Tristan will be 1 and I will sit there and wonder where the time went.. Sad really.. It's sad because people including myself just dont take time for themsleves, to really soak it up and live in the moment instead its a GO GO GO world.. I really need to learn to STOP and just live it up for just a second even a minute, It won't kill me to do so.. and yet I tell myself this pretty much all the time even before I had Tristan and look he's already 3 1/2 months old and for the life of me I wish I would of soaked up his littleness a little longer.. on the other hand I love that he is growing and making me and John grow as well. I think we learn from him, funny how a 3 1/2 month old can teach you things without even knowing it.. It may not be obvious but one thing is for sure, Tristan has began to teach me to slow down, take him in, take John in, take my life in, take family and friends in and really be HAPPY!!
So Happy Birthday to me!! I will soak this day up and take some pics so I can have some memories that I dont have of all the other b-days that just passed me by as if they were just another day!! :0)

**So My B-day plans: Tonight John is taking me out to Dinner not sure where yet.
Then tomorrow: We are going out to dinner with my family and then after my sister is going to take the baby and John and I are going to go out with friends and celebrate my b-day with some drinking and some fun!! I'm pretty excited.. haha I havent been out in awhile.. :0)
and Sunday - I plan on just relaxing maybe go to the park with Tristan and just chill.

Holy first Wedding nightmare!

Omg - So Sat. we had very busy day - we had a gradution to go to - which by the way made my itch to get my ass back to school even more so.. so we had that and I saw so many of my old friends.. Small world.. Anyway - we got done with that and then had a surprise party to go to at 5 - I didnt have time to dress up like I had hoped because by the time I had gotten home it was 4:15 and the baby needed to eat then we needed to be there by 5:30 so we wouldn't miss the surprise - so we go to the party and we didn't leave until about 8:30ish.. I got home put Baby T down. He was exhausted so was I!! So I headed off to bed, Man oh man being in bed never felt so good.. haha..
So I dont know how my dream started out but somehow I was at my Venue Villa Siena I could see everything, the fountain the fireplace everything, but there was a problem two of my bridesmaids bailed on me the day of, there were no people in there seats except like 5 maybe. My Dress was the wrong dress and John was not John!! So I began crying and shouting that this was all wrong.. We have the dates all wrong!! I couldnt figure out what was going on. Then it shifted to an outside beach wedding and I was actally getting ready to walk to John but some "Bitch" got in front of me in MY wedding dress and was walking to John too!!! So I was like in a race to get to the altar before she did.. UGH!! it was a mess. Ya well she ended up getting there before me and I just fell to the floor crying.. and from out of no where.. My friend Kim showed up and said its okay honey - your just having a dream.. I'm like no I'm not this is really happening!!! As I was sitting there crying I could see John marrying this other chic and of course I couldnt see her stupid face!! annddddd then I woke up!!! WTF I wanted to beat this chick up.. What kinda effed up dream was that all about..
That was my first dream wedding related- since being engaged. umm 2 years ago,, haha..
Why can't wedding dreams be nice and peaceful?? so ridicuolous!!
So that was my dream - it was horrible.. and I hope I dont have another one like that ever again!!