**Trash the Dress**

Yes you read that right!! I went and trashed my dress (wedding) this past weekend with a few other girls I know.

WHY on EARTH would you go and trash your dress, you ask? Well, WHY NOT??

You only get to wear it once and for maybe 8-10 hours and during that time you barely remember even wearing it.

I knew I had wanted to do this when I first got engaged and started searching the web for anything wedding related.. Yep crazy bride on the loose at that time..
When I came upon some sites and photographer sites that had done this, I thought this was so cool and something I could totally see myself doing. Now, I didn't exactly "trash" my dress - I just got it a little dirty but, their are some women out there who actually destroy there dresses and get crazy dirty with food, water, paint.. I just couldn't pull myself to do that. So we kept it pretty simple. Urban, chic, modern, FUN!!
So Sat morning I woke up early to get my Make up done yet again by my favorite make up artist who did my Wedding Make up and Bachorlette party make up - Amber from Glamberous Make up.. After that was done I headed down to the Arizona Science Center and met up with some of the other girls to get our party started.. We got dressed in the parking garage and I'm sure we got ALOT of looks and stares - Well I'm not just sure - I know we did.. hahah
My Photographer who shot my wedding pics - came out to do these for us. I knew she would do an amazing job and of course the pics I have seen so far are nothing short of amazing!!

It was such a beautiful day and I (we) had so much fun doing these.

Here ya go.... Now go trash your dress - if its not yet preserved or cleaned yet.. =)

~Bride Wars~

This one is my Favorite.

APRIL 17, 2004

is the day I lost my Dad- I hate this day!! I really do. I hate everything about this day

April 17th is the day my Dad was taken away from me.. and yes he was TAKEN away from me.. I know he's in a better place and I know one day I will be with him again, but I am mad that he was taken from me, way to early!! Its not fair nor right, he was such a good man, such a good person and would do anything for family, friends anyone who needed help he was there to lend his giant hand.. I miss his dirty hands, ya know the grease under the nails, rough and scruffy, way to dry of hands- yay I miss those.. I miss seeing him in the morning when coming to work or hearing his big red truck pull up. I miss that smirk he would give you as to say hello but not out right say it. I miss so much about my Dad ~ He has missed out on so much,,My Wedding, My Son's birth, his grand kids growing up all 10 of them, graduating, a black president!! hahah - I try to stay strong and tell myself he's here in spirit and I'm sure he is.. I know he's watching over me - US.. but I miss him - I think I miss him more now than I did last year or the year before..

Its been 5 years since he's been gone- 5 years and you would think as time goes on -things would get easier as the days approach.. YAY not so much.. Its pretty much the same feelings and they start the day before and the crying just comes and tears just fall - without me even trying..

Its like my body knows - not just my mind..

Yesterday - I went to the gym and I saw my Uncle.. Now my Uncle has been out of our lives for about 4 years and suddenly just came back into our lives about a week before my wedding- I'm angry with him because of what he did 4 years ago etc - that's another post-

I'm cordial to him but that's it.. So I walked into the gym and brought Tristan into the daycare- well from the daycare there is a window into the office area and I glanced up and had to do a double take it was like seeing my Dad.. I felt the tears well up and I hurriedly put T down and gave the daycare lady an overview and walked out.. and lost it..

My Uncle looks exactly like my DAD, no joke..Well no kidding you say- they are brother's, but the way he was sitting - his face, his body structure and stature, the way he was wearing his glasses and the way he looked up from his glasses gave me flashbacks of what my Dad used to do.. I couldn't even look at him.. it took all I had to keep it together while working out..

Last night before I went to bed -of course I shed more tears and finally drifted off to sleep..
Woke up and was fine until of course I got to work and got in the surroundings of were my dad used to be and that damn door he used to walk through to come to our side of the building.. I hate that door - every time it opens it reminds me of my dad..

My Mom and My Sister always go up to Parker on this day - to bring my Dad flowers and leave some memorabilia and then go gamble at the Blue Water Casino and hope my dad helps them win since my Dad loved to gamble.. :0) I don't go anymore- its to hard to go to Parker- as soon as we turn into Parker I just get the flashbacks to the "DAY", John had to drive me up there and the Best Western is right smack in my face were we had to go to see my Mom..

Its heart wrenching having to even pass through Parker on our way to Havasu- although we do stop by, John and I go down to the water and say hello and chill out for awhile.. and we then head out. I know people say its always nice to have a "place" to go and visit but for me that's not the case.. The place to visit him is in my heart.. maybe in "more" time I will be able to go to Parker on this day and be able to smile and not cry so much but for now- I can't and I won't..

I'm angry and I'm mad - at this day..

I HATE THIS DAY!!! I miss My DAD!!

R.I.P. Daddy - O 04/17/04

I love you ~ Jenni

~9 Month Well Check Updated ~

Went great!! T did not have to get shots.. Whew thank goodness. His next shots will be at his 1 year..

Here is his stats:

Weight: 24lbs 14oz 96% up

Height: 30" 97% up When he got measured at the surgey center, seems they were WAY off..

Head Circ: 18" 60% up

His ears are still somewhat red and irritated - We have a recheck on the tubes tomorrow at the ear, nose and throat specialist.

He's advanced for his age - as he was showing off his skillz by talking and babbling away with the Dr. He says ball, dadda, mammmma, bubbba, He knows his name and will look when called, The Dr. Said she would prefer that he crawl first - so we will be working on that even more than we have been.
The only problem she came across which kinda bothers me - is his teeth.. On his top 2 teeth and the 3rd one coming in - it looks like he rubbed them raw and they are of different colors. NOT GOOD!! I have this on my two bottom teeth and they seem to think it is from antibiotics, So I'm hoping this is the case and if it is permanant, his baby teeth will fall out and his adult teeth won't have that.. Mine was not the case. I do not let him go to sleep with a bottle so I know its not bottle mouth - I'm kinda confused and really pondering what it could actually be. So I have to set up an appt with the Pediatric dentist.. Never in my life did I think I would be taking my child to a freakin dentist at 9 months old, but I guess I am.. So oh well!!

Like I said if its not one thing its another.. UGH!!

So here's some photo's from our fun day at the Pediatricians office..

and this was after.. Passed out!!! We also had to upgrade his car seat- He was getting way to big for his infant one- The thing is a little bit harder to get him in and out of but I feel better with him in this one than his other one.. It's definitely a safer seat..

9 month Pics and Easter pics

I'm 9 Months Old!! I have 4 teeth - 2 more on the way!! Woot woot..
9 Month Well check tomorrow - along with some more shots.. YAY!!
This weekend - Pro pics - Spring, Summer and hopefully some Easter Pics.. :0)


Happy Easter April 12, 2009
I don't think taking his pictures like this are going to last very much longer..

Camera's

I have a pretty cool camera - its small, compact I can take it wherever- fits in the diaper bag wonderfully etc..

But its old and like 5 mega pixels - I think I bought it I don't know about 4 years ago..

Well- I recently bought John a brand new camera last year for his early b-day gift- and the fact that we were going to be having a new baby I also wanted a nice camera to take some really nice photos. Well this camera is kinda big, bulky and I don't care for that. So I had no problems that it belonged to John.. Well guess who has taken over it - with my photographer wishing ways??!! ME!!

I love his camera- I don't like the fact that its huge but I love that it takes some quality pics - I mean high quality as in- I printed off some images from snap fish and sent them to Walgreen's I went to go pick them up and I was told I couldn't have the picture until I got the copyright..UMMM I took that picture!! I was not a happy camper. but that's how good that camera is- or maybe its the person behind the camera. hahah. J.K.

Anyway - I obviously know there is better cameras out there. I'm just being biased..

So my new project is to learn how to use this camera.. eeeek.. I typically just like to point and click and hope no one closes there eyes. I'm hoping I can get good - because once I start my scrap booking again I hope to have some amazing pics of the baby, John, adventures and trips.. I'm going to be "that"person who always has a camera- but how can you not- its so fun to look back at the things you did and the places you went- Especially for Tristan.. I want a million pictures with my kids- I don't even care if we are just sitting at home I want to remember those times and I want my kids to have pictures to remember us by as well as our grand kids etc.. So if you see a camera crazed person coming towards you snapping pics - Its me!!! :0)

So we will see how it goes..

If anyone reads this - do you have any tips on taking some nice pictures. I love pics that are in the moment, not constantly looking at me or saying cheese..

I will learn how to use this camera and once I am done learning how to use this camera I'm going to learn how to edit them.. weeee..

"More projects to my list" YAY!!

~9 Months Old~

Holy Shnikes!! 9 months has come so fast and we only have 3 months left till T turns 1-- WHOA!!! Time sure flies when you have a baby-
The sad thing is - the past 3 months we have had to deal with sickness after sickness and ear infections. The next 3 months and beyond I hope will be filled with happiness, new things, some more teeth, walking, talking etc.. Now that T has his tubes I am hoping these bring the relief that he has needed and we can be on the right path to wellness.

So 9 month stats: I won't know until next Tues - I had to postpone his well check because of his tubes, I think tubes was enough trauma for 1 week..
I do know: Tristan weighs 24lbs 15 oz he is 26 in long
He has no interest in crawling- he does army crawl but this would be backwards. He has started to drink out of a sippy cup - juice or water.. Holding his own bottle, he has been doing awesome walking with help and he has also started pulling him self up to his knees. He is eating more and more of our food - like spaghetti, turkey, ham, cheese, strawberries, bananas, apple puffs, and banana cookies.. He also likes green beans and corn.
He has 3 new teeth and one more coming in on the bottom.
Tristan is extremely smart and I wont be surprised if he starts talking early. He can somewhat say Ball, John and I are very attentive with him when we give him new toys etc we wok with him on what they called.. He can say Dog but it sounds more like Da, He says, Ma and he does say dada.. in one syllable.
Other than that - he is doing great - Easter is Sunday - So we will be going to get a haircut Sat and then get his 9 month pictures along with his 1st Easter pics. I might throw in a few summer pics. :0) I will post once I get them back..

That's the update.

Tubes are in- the Recovery begins!!

This was supposed to be posted yesterday - but I i forgot to press the publish button.. oops..

YEA!!!!! Okay so it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.. Thankfully one of my friends let me in on what happens and thank goodness she did- No IV's needed it was just a light sedation with gas..


So my night - morning kinda sucked - even after being reassured it wasn't as ivasive as it sounded and the fact that when I got tubes in my ears back then we were put OUT!! I was still somewhat of a nervous wreck.. So I did not sleep at all last night - I finally turned off the T.V. and passed, out at 2 am only to wake up to a crying baby at 3 am.. YAY for me.. Shitty for Tristan considering I wasn't able to give him a bottle to get him to go back to sleep. So he stayed up and cryed for a good hour and half until I broke down and gave him water.. He was cool with it until he realized I tricked him and then he was PISSED!! By then it was time to get going and he passed out in the car - Surgery was at 730 am and the Dr's came in and visited with John and Me and went over everything, asked numerous of questions- which I had no problem answering considering they asked the same questions oh about 3 times.. haha I don't care though.. Tristan was taken away and John and I waited in the waiting area.. 10 minutes later the Doc came in and said he was done, they were waking him up and went over some post op stuff. The one thing the Doc did say is that T definitely needed those tubes, there was quite a bit of fluid in his left ear - which we knew but he said there was also pus build up- did not know.. so they cleaned both of his ears- put tubes in and he said to expect quite a bit of drainage from his left ear as that one was the worse. the right one we can expect some but not alot.. I am so thankful and glad that we went through with getting T tubes, although I was scared about doing it so young I am hoping this leads us on the right path to getting my FUN, HAPPY GO LUCKY baby Boy BACK!!

Anyway- back on track here, They brought him to me and he was still out of it - gave him his bottle which he downed in 2 secs.. once he was finished with that- the crying began it made me kinda nervous because he NEVER cries like that unless he is in pain. So I asked the nurses probably like a million times if he was okay and they kept telling me it was normal when babies begin to come out of it.. Sooo.. there wasn't much John or I could do but let him cry and try our hardest to console him. Finally able to leave- we packed him in the carseat and off we went- and guess who passed right out!! hahah
We got home and I put T in our bed- since this is his favorite place and I laid with him for alittle while until he fell back to sleep.. I got up and did som things around the house and decided it was time to nap as well.. So I joined T and we napped until noon.. a good 3 hours!! It was Fantastic!!

So all in all T is doing great- he is already a completly different baby - and you can tell he is feeling SO much better - All that build up and pressure was relieved and I am so glad it was..
He goes back to Day care on Friday and I go back to work. I wish I was able to stay home full time with my lil T, but I can't..

Tubes - Tomorrow

To catch up here -

Tristan had somewhat of a setback last week- Thursday to be exact- he broke out with a cold yet again and started wheezing and coughing - so Thursday Morning I called the pediatrician to get him in and make sure we could get some medicine in his system before it got worse and his surgery postponed..

Our Pedia gave him meds and we started the nebulizer again.. She told me that when I come back for his re-check, if he is still wheezing and his lungs sound bad - she will postpone the surgery!! FECK!!! I really didn't want to postpone this surgery - I know these tubes are going to help him and postponing would just be asking for more ear infections and more sickness - So Thank the lord that today when we went in to the pedia she cleared him for his surgery tomorrow.. His lungs sound way better - his cough is gone so we are set.. We have to be there at 6 in the morning which means we have to leave our house at 5:15 ish...Oh and the best part HA Tristan can not eat or drink anything after Midnight - so this should be an interesting drive to the surgery center. Since his first bottle is typically at 6 am..

On the flip side.. I'm scared shit less of this surgery - I try hard not to think about it and try not to think of what could happen etc.. "if "anything happened to my T man - I seriously don't know what I would do - I know I would not be okay and my life as I knew it would change forever, okay I'm done thinking about that~ but its starting to get to me. ALOT!! So I hope I can hold it together tomorrow and stay calm for T's sake.. :( Luckily John is coming with us - so if I do lose it he will be there to snap me outta of it.. Please keep your thoughts with us tomorrow and T's surgery goes exactly as planned with no problems and comes out of his "twilight" alright!!

And I leave you with some new photos of my Lil Dude.. :0)
He's so stinkin cute! look at them cheeks.. :)

Oh- Shoot look who is learning to drink out of a sippy cup!!

T's gotta a new Tonka Truck!!! Woohooo..