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Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year's!!

Yesterday was my Dad's B-day.. He is 59 years old. So crazy to think he's been gone for 5 years!!  Almost 6 years come this April.  I miss him like crazy- for some reason I have been more emotional that usual and stop right there I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!   No way- No How, I am making 100%  sure that does not happen!! At least not until after my cruise. mmm kay..
Anyway - like I said I really do miss him. Maybe it also has to do with the fact that this year we have lost quite a few people in our lives.  For One we lost Jacob, i posted about this. I think about him everyday- (I'm a song person, so certain songs always stick out more when I think of people) does that make sense? Are you like that?  Like for Example; the Song by The Fray - "Never Say Never", Yay That song somehow brings tears to my eyes, not as bad as it used to when I would hear it. Actually the day I heard them sing it in church thats when I think my tears became less- weird.. We also lost a really good woman to Cancer, (FECK CANCER)!!!  Anyway - I didn't know her very well, I only got to meet her I think 2-3 times. but the mark she left on me is undeniable. She was only 58 and her poor body was consumed by cancer. :(
Not only did we lose her to cancer we also lost my Sister N' Laws Mother to Cancer, This woman was a fighter she fought breast cancer twice and went through remission twice, this last time the cancer come back and it came back strong. She fought her hardest though, but that DAMN cancer took her.   So F*ck Cancer!!!
Back to my songs.. I think it was like a week before Christmas and I was driving home. Thinking about things and what I needed to do, Carrie Underwoods new song came on, "Temporary Home", Of course the first part is about a little boy which automatically makes me think of Jacob, the 2nd verse really didn't have any meaning towards me but the Last - Ugh, the last verse had me in sobs.. :( 
Read on.....
Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves

And he whispers don't cry for me
I'll see you all someday
He looks up and says "I can see God's face"

This is my temporary Home

It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This was just a stop,on the way To where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was
My temporary home."

This is our temporary home

So yea, I am definitely a song person, and this song definitely got me!!   I feel like this song is so true, and I choose to believe this!   I'm so sad that My Dad, My SIL's Mom, Yvonne and Jacob were taken so soon, but I know they are HOME, They are happy and I know my Dad is with me every single day. It really just takes me thinking of him, for all the memories to come swooshing back in, like the way he smelled, the way he giggled(more like a chuckle) the chicken pecking of his fingers on the computer because his fingers were to fat and he couldn't see the letters so he had to do it one at a time, the way he would look up from his chair with this smurk of, What do you want now?   My Dad was definitely a great man and I wish Tristan had the chance to meet him. One day he will, but for now I will make sure he knows him through me and pictures!! 
Happy Birthday Daddy-O

This totally wasn't meant to be a sad post- its the New Year!! Time for New Things and New Memories. I just needed to reflect on that.

Next post will be uppity!!  ooo  Guess what...  I finally got my ass to the gym today!! (can I get a hoo haaa)  I did 35 minutes of cardio- I need to get back into it for sure - I have lost my mojo. haha  I plan to go the rest of the weekend and take Monday off then head in Tues and do some strength training.  So here we go!!!  :0)   you want another downer, not for you but for me.. I gained 7 effin lbs people!!  Feckin Holidays!! Oiiii.. I lost my self control... Never again..
I hope you had a great New Years, and I hope you have a great Year ahead!!! 

1 comment:

Laura said...

So sorry about your dad! And cancer definitely sucks big time! I totally understand about the song thing, I do that too. Woot woot on going to the gym, nice work girl! I need to get my booty there too!