Is what I am lately.. If you read my last post about how horrible of a week I was having, well you will get the jist of this post. Not only am I stressed about numerous of things it is now rolling into this week. My weekend was great, but Monday came and now here I am. a big fat lump of stress.
To name a few:
* My Job
Lets start with my Job, you all know we own our own biz, if you didn't know that well now you do. My Family and I own our own Granite Fabrication Company.Well with the economy it has taken a toll on our company, we are part of that construction portion of the economy. The last 3 years has been super stressful. We have our ups and downs, good days and bad days and definitely our good months and bad months.
These all reflect how people feel like spending there money and when. Typically the winter months when snowbirds get the clue that living in zero degree weather is no longer fun, they move out to sunny Az and well remodel the half price house they just bought! We also have those that like to remodel right before relatives come in for the 3 very important holidays, starting with Halloween and ending with Christmas. These 3 months are typically are great months. Then comes Jan, Feb and most of March when people are recovering from eating way to much food, signing up for gym memberships and paying off those Christmas gifts they purchased. Then we get tax season. Tax season is up months which include End of March, April, May and June those months seem to be good and of course full of those people who just got there big ole smackeroos back from Uncle Sam. Then summer comes and the downfall hits. I hate the summer, everyone is on vacation away from the hell hole 115-120 degree weather, I mean I would be to if I could.
So, you see what kind of stress I have to deal with. One month I'm thinking we could possibly go out of biz, the next month things are rockin and rollin. I hate my job, more so because I work with family. Its hard working with family, that not to mention has family issues involved, there is just no way of keeping business, business. and Family, family.. It just doesn't happen. There is no one chief and there are no certain Indians. We could possibly be the worse run company on earth but we love our customers and strive everyday to make our workmanship what it is. My Dad built this company for his kids to take over and quite frankly we are turning it into a place we hate. Well let me rephrase,I only hate a single person within this company. I don;t hate the company. Its my Dad's company and he left it to us. It just sucks not ever knowing what could or could not happen from day to day.
*Money is a no brainer, stresses everyone out.. I wish we were debt free, unfortunately we aren't and are paying the price for our irresponsibility's. We live and learn and I have learned a tough lesson the last 3 years. Alot of debt is from our Wedding, and when things became tough for us in 2009 when like I said the economy took a shit. Sucks, but we are on the road to paying them off. If things get bad or worse with my company its going to put us behind again. Not to mention I just had to shell out 700-800 bucks in Emergency Vet bills that was very unexpected. School has also taken a chunk of my savings. Financial aid wont assist me because of mine and my husbands income. which in my opinion sucks, because financial asstistance would be really awesome right now.
I hate the fact that I'm stressing about this baby. When we originally planned this, things were A. going good with my company and B. there was no unexpected expenses being thrown my way. I realize its only January and things could change for the better or make a turn for the worse. Lets hope for the better.
I realize this baby wont need a ton of things, because we have everything (big things) from when T was a baby which is great and saves me the stress of that. Its the other things that begin to stress me out. Formula,(I plan to breast feed again for at least 6 months) diapers, daycare, pedia appts, rx costs, and everything else you don't think about until after you have the baby, kinda like when I was hit with it after T was born. I was hit with all of those things and it was ALL very unexpected. Maternity leave is another stressor I have been thinking about. With T I had 9 weeks all paid and then I was able to take him with me for 6 months. This time, I'm hoping for 8 weeks and being able to take "cheez it" with me at least until the new year and then starting 2012 with daycare for both kids. Butttt if things turn for the worse, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. We definitely can't afford for me to stay home and I would have to find another job immediately, which means zero maternity leave if its before I deliver.
so I'm STRESSED!!!
I figured this was our golden opportunity to have baby#2 because the things with the economy I "thought"
were beginning to bounce back, just a little. HA and go figure gas prices are going up again. When I had T, gas was above 4 bucks a gallon and then about 6 months after he was born they started going down, and look now, the gas prices are once again on the rise and who knows what they'll be when the baby arrives.
Ugh.. its just one shit storm after another. I hope to God there is some relief in sight because I'm about to have an EPIC MELT DOWN.. No joke, I feel it coming I realize I'm already full of emotions and it doesn't take much right now for me to cry, but this Melt down I can feel is going to be huge if things don't start getting sorted out.