Mommy 2 Two Boys: Sad, is that even a way to describe a feeling?

this is what I am right now - I am full of emotion, loss, anger, my heart is broken, I feel sick..

Last night John and I received a call from Johns father saying that his nephew was found in the pool and was being rushed to Phoenix Children's Hospital and it was not looking good.. When John told me I just broke into tears.. Jacob is 2 weeks younger than Tristan. Although we didn't have a close relationship with Marcelia and Jacob it still hits soooo close to home.. It hit straight to my heart.. All I could do was pray that Jacob was strong enough and that something or someone would allow this little boy to make it through this.. Unfortunately - at midnight we received a phone call telling us that Jacob had gone to heaven and they would be saying there good byes.. As soon as I heard the words He was gone.. I began sobbing- I had no words, I'm in shock... You never think things like this can happen to you or someone you know. I went and grabbed Tristan from his crib (yes I woke him) and i held on to him.. I can not even begin to imagine the pain Maricela and her family are feeling right now, nor would I want to.. I really have no idea what I would do or how I would have the strength to go on or even leave Jacob.. I'm so so heartbroken.. Every time I think about it - it breaks my heart again.

Please keep baby Jacob in your prayers and please keep his Mom and your prayers as well.

the story of what happened is still being figured out but what I can gather at the moment is that Jacob drowned in Maricela's fathers pool.. Maricela left Jacob in the care of her Aunt and left to go get necessities and when she returned Jacob was no were around, they found him in the pool. The doggie door was propped open and the gate to the pool was left unlatched and open..

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... Close your gates around your pools, if you don't have a gate, lock your doors and if you have a dog with a doggie door please keep your eyes glued on your child.

This is something that did not have to happen.. and that's what makes it that much more harder to deal with..

Here is Jacob and Tristan at 4 months old with John's Father.. This is the only picture I have of Jacob. I'm sad this is the only picture I have.